crazy how i havent seen him in soooo long . thought the feelings were gone , 'til we crossed paths this afternoon . didnt think they would come back in such a rush ... cant even front , i miss him .
got me feelin' like whitney ....
"Why does it hurt so bad ? Why do I feel so sad ? Thought I was over you ... But I keep crying , When I don't love you .... So why does it hurt so bad ? I thought I had let you go , So why does it hurt me so -- I gotta get you outta my head . It hurts so bad .My life's been better Since the day I left you , boy .I must admit life's been kind to me ... I went and did the things I said I would boy ... I found someone who loves me for me . Haven't had much drama since the day that we split boy . My heart's never been more at ease -- &&& when I think of all the things you put me through , Leaving you has been the best thing for me .So why does it hurt so bad ?"
not really in the blogging mood today . :( read the previous post though, highly appreciated .
LOS ANGELES (Jan. 28) - In one upstairs bedroom, the bodies of twin 2-year-old boys were found beside their dead mother. In another bedroom, 5-year-old twin girls and their 8-year-old sister lay next to their lifeless father.
Officers discovered the horrific scene after rushing to a home in Wilmington, prompted by the father's distraught letter faxed to a TV station describing a "tragic story" and a call to authorities.
Police believe Ervin Lupoe, 40, killed his five children and his wife before turning the gun on himself. Both adults were recently fired from their hospital jobs.
"Why leave our children in someone else's hands?" Lupoe wrote in his letter faxed to KABC-TV. The station posted the letter on its Web site with some parts redacted.
The station called police after receiving the fax, and a police dispatch center also received a phone call from a man who stated, "I just returned home and my whole family's been shot." Police are unsure who the male caller was, but they suspect it was the father.
Officers rushed to the home in Wilmington, a small community between the ports of Los Angeles and Long Beach, about 8:30 a.m. Tuesday and found the bodies.
All the victims were shot in the head, some multiple times, coroner's Assistant Chief Ed Winter said. The killings may have occurred between Monday evening and early Tuesday, based on neighbors' accounts of firecracker sounds, he said.
Although the fax — addressed to "whom it may concern" and explaining "why we are dead" — asserted that the wife, Ana Lupoe, planned the killings of the whole family, police Lt. John Romero said Ervin Lupoe was the suspect. A revolver was found next to his body.
It was the fifth mass death of a Southern California family by murder or suicide in a year. Police urged those facing tough economic times to get help rather than resort to violence.
....alright so i wake up this morning around 6 , assemble the ensemble, make sure im spiffy before i walk out the door. i open to find MORE SNOW falling, realizing i should walk slow to avoid slipping &&& falling . alright so anyways ................ im walking down this type steep hill , ( no slipage, lucky me ) , &&& see this creature running across the street . mind yuo the sun has yet to rise so i assume its a dog or raccoon . im scared of raccoons btw . haha . ANYWHOS -- i continue to walk , take a gander across the street &&& to my surprise its a F O X wooooow , haha im in skyway not the woods .
so i continue to walk to the bus stop ... in attempt to across the street , this fox gets stuck in the middle of the road , its scared of the cars i guess ... i get out my pocket knife , i was bout to slice it if it ran up on me . haha , homie dont play daaat !! i mean i dont like dogs soooo why in the hell would ah wild fox be accepted in my life . lol
in conclusion the bus came before the fox could cross over to my side ... so i hope he didnt get ran over or something . haha .
used to think love was for lames. full of heartbreak &&& games.
thought them females in it were madddd dumb. stuck on a dude the first time they got "some" told myseld i'd never fall kept my guards high.
been playin' niggas my whole life. hurt 'em before they got the chance to make me cry. always kept 3 or 4 in rotation. quick to cut em off if my time was dominated.
played the role to the public as if bein the "girlfriend" was the life for me. when the truth is.... just another characteristic of the player in me.
til i met my match one day. had a hold on me before i could get away. spit bars harder than any line i could even think to say. put it on me, couldnt walk the right way.
felt it wasnt right so i hit cuts. changed my number &&& told myself "that n*ggas f*cked up ... so why should i give a f*ck?" when in reality it was driving me insane. but bad females have reps to maintain. cant let my fans know i just got gamed.
just bein honest &&& keepin it 100 back in my life &&& im done wit the frontin. cause truth be told im attached. like i said i met my match. but i cant hang with him, all the fortune &&& fame.
MVP is what I used to call ME. &&& i refuse to allow we to become we because i aint one to share with all the other she's. so im still under the impression that falling is lame. my name is anjenee, &&& im over the love games.
did i spell that right? alright so im feeeeelin pretty dang good about life right about now.
...the semesters over, my pockets weigh more than i do. i FINALLY found a tolo dress, &&& heels (look out for pics) &&& got the telly too! (yes i know its not prom but we still must do it major for senior year)
...&&& my guy kellz is soooo f-wordin great yo.
"although it seems Heaven sent, we aint ready to see a black president." TUPAC*
peep this, the inauguration is tomorrow so im on my ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE -- i mean, the presidents black for goodness sakes, soooo im not giving up hope on tyga. alll thanks to OBAMA ! haha
(what can i say, i like feedback from the readers) , nonetheless, ok so tolo's coming up, being that its my last year, im attempting to make an attempt at every dance possible! haha, anywhos, alright so being that im flying solo, i have bookoo options as far as a "date" i mean, i can always stunt by myself. haha, buuut id rather be accompanied --(tolo: females ask the fellas) anywhos heres the thing, ive began talking to someone new, buuut hes not really into the whole formal attire type thing...so im going with his friend. haha.
am i wrong for it? i mean it aint like its PROM or anything like that! lol. ive been purchasing dresses too, since im in love with the animal print,
...so today while in class, the daily gossip began. (mind you this is done by the fellas, believe it or not, they do talk waaaay more than the ladies.)
well maybe not, but they seem to have no problem with broadcasting allll their bizzz (at Franklin High that is) anywhooooos, today they began to talk about this anonymous chick. speakin on how shes a "hoe" because she had sex with one guy, &&& then few weeks later, his friend. heeey im not trying to justify this. buuut im just saying. 7 out of 10 times. when a guy has a chance to get a lady &&& her friend too, he's be on it type quick. so what in the hell is the difference ?? ah, highschool. glad its ending. haha. feeedback ?
so its a brand new year, a brand new day. almost done with school... well highschool that is. i party liiiike no other, never really sleep. shooooot i need to chill. like to be honest im pretty darn spoiled. material wise i have everything, &&& get whatever i ask for. if id quit being lazy &&& go get my L's then id be drivin right now. it would seem like id be the happiest lady ever right now, surprisingly.
my bestfriend Bentley & I had a discussion bout how dudes have "B-WORD" tendencies. this ex of mine were on a rocky slope, right when it started to be on a good note, this n*gga hits cuts on me. aint talked to him in a minute. haha. oh well. i was upset for a minute, but not anymore cause i am NOT the one missing out. he is. my BF told me real men can speak they mind. &&& the fact that he cant. clear sign of B*TCHA*SNESS. we're all against B*TCHA*SNESS :] hehe, anyways im just ramboling now. the snowy day was alright i guess.
well kinda... hehe, HAPPY NEW YEARS !! im so late. buuuut anywhos, i hope everyones New Years went well. my night was pretty wiiild , didnt get home & in bed til around 8 am, & woke up at 9 am and went to church, ( i know horrible.)
party hopped liiiike no other though, i think i seen the entire seattle last night/ early morning. haha funnn funnn, &&& now its snowing AGAIN, i mean the snow JUUUUUST melted &&& here we go again. no school again, this is actually bothering me, we'll have so much work to make up.
geeeeeeez !! nonetheless, im happy. howre you lovlies? id like to know how everyone spent new years, mines totally SUCKEDDD major monkey nuts. i ran up my dads bill so he wont let me change my phone number :(
*i have to do that every couple months, personal reasons. i have stalkers. hehe. found a new song to live by, when it comes to love, by NEYO -- called so you can cry. reallllly opened my eyes. i love it . "life isnt long, there will be pain, but life goes on, live everyday with a brand new song."
im excited for the new year, especially since my prom date's hellllla fine. i think i may post a flick of him later on too. haha.
"feelin like im faded" , never again. living above the influence (: hehe, here on out.
" swallow my words, taste my thoughts ... &&& if it's too nasty , spit it back at mee !!" [: --- basically, that quote says it all for mee . (although im not a weezy fanatic like most) hehe. i love to write , &&& this blog is something like an escape for my mind. thus "in my minddd." ♥ be blessed.