&&& another question...

..so if you havent noticed. im quite young, only a senior in high school. many say too young to speak on anything doing with the word "love" -- &&& i agree, that just may be true. i know for sure things that ive gone through within the past two years with males have matured me in a real serious way. watching waiting to exhale (oh how i love that movie) came to realize, once you've been treated like a queen, there's no way in hell you can go back to bullshxt. it just doesn't quite fit with your heart. rather just adds weight to it. not the best feeling if i say so myself. age 16, i feel as if this age contributed to a major piece of who i am today. at a vulnerable & adolescent state , found myself falling (hard) for an actor. no love, for sure, nothing but lust. ending with no beefs, or hard feelings (although id still like my belongings back). i was given the message, "everything i touch messes up." from there, friends ... to nothing at all. sooooo now i find myself in a learning stage. my last relationship started off real solid. and honestly, at the way things are looking currently. its over, (possibly just beginning ??) the problems began with myself, afraid of repeating the past. they continued with him, not willing to give me that safe feeling i longed for.


"at the end of the day ... its me he comes home to." , alright. so my question is -- where in the hell were you the rest of the day? -- just because you come home to me...does that make the other houses you went "home" to throughout the day, suitable? or maybe its just my insecurities getting the best of me. i mean, i still have a whole life ahead of me to answer these questions. just a bit curious now, i guess? find love knocking at my door once more, afraid to let it in. coming to realize, it has a key of its own... seems too perfect to be imperfect. assured, yet still terribly nervous.

i have no clue why i felt like sharing this with you all...i guess im not a "lowkey" person. (anymore.)