..so if you havent noticed. im quite young, only a senior in high school. many say too young to speak on anything doing with the word "love" -- &&& i agree, that just may be true. i know for sure things that ive gone through within the past two years with males have matured me in a real serious way. watching waiting to exhale (oh how i love that movie) came to realize, once you've been treated like a queen, there's no way in hell you can go back to bullshxt. it just doesn't quite fit with your heart. rather just adds weight to it. not the best feeling if i say so myself. age 16, i feel as if this age contributed to a major piece of who i am today. at a vulnerable & adolescent state , found myself falling (hard) for an actor. no love, for sure, nothing but lust. ending with no beefs, or hard feelings (although id still like my belongings back). i was given the message, "everything i touch messes up." from there, friends ... to nothing at all. sooooo now i find myself in a learning stage. my last relationship started off real solid. and honestly, at the way things are looking currently. its over, (possibly just beginning ??) the problems began with myself, afraid of repeating the past. they continued with him, not willing to give me that safe feeling i longed for.
"at the end of the day ... its me he comes home to." , alright. so my question is -- where in the hell were you the rest of the day? -- just because you come home to me...does that make the other houses you went "home" to throughout the day, suitable? or maybe its just my insecurities getting the best of me. i mean, i still have a whole life ahead of me to answer these questions. just a bit curious now, i guess? find love knocking at my door once more, afraid to let it in. coming to realize, it has a key of its own... seems too perfect to be imperfect. assured, yet still terribly nervous.
i have no clue why i felt like sharing this with you all...i guess im not a "lowkey" person. (anymore.)
"You help me to discover me I just want you to put trust in me I kind of laugh when you cuss at me The aftermath is you touching me It's destiny that we connected girl You and i we can affect the world I'm tired of the fast lane I want you to have my last name"
your songs played out, my speakers are bumpin a new tune. seriously, i quote myselfff.
so glad the week is to an end. i haven't really slept in the last few days, due to the crying of this baby. noooo not a real baby, a doll for class. it cries, &&& is annoying ! im glad to say i earned a faaat A on the project, and turned the kid in so his "daddy" can take him . hehe. it was so odd carrying a babydoll around town. being a senior && all.
*in other news. the weekends going spiffy so far, shopped a bit, got a new hat from Zebra Club (a bit upset with the selection of the dowtown shop, it was my first time actually in that location -- bellevue has a better selection) *nonetheless i love store.
the neph &&&&& i are currently chillin at la casa. welp -- alright well thats enough ....
" swallow my words, taste my thoughts ... &&& if it's too nasty , spit it back at mee !!" [: --- basically, that quote says it all for mee . (although im not a weezy fanatic like most) hehe. i love to write , &&& this blog is something like an escape for my mind. thus "in my minddd." ♥ be blessed.
... because of the monsters under my bed .
-
eyes swollen from
carrying the weight of
heavy tears.
nights swallowed by
the hauntings of ghosts
that aren't too friendly
misery likes to host
parties in m...
Sex On Sunday
-
On the day that is specifically designated for repenting, I can only think
of sinning. Getting in and in it, digging from the inside out, your loins
have a...
